Wild Minds Weekly: "They should"

Hello friends,

When was the last time you said “they should”?

You may have noticed…

Most people seem to think they have no say in what happens, not just in the world around them, but in their own lives.

They largely see themselves as a little duckling floating down the river, pushed and pulled by forces beyond their control.

They expect the government to fix the problems in society, the doctor to fix their health, and the faceless corporations to stop being destroying the earth.

“They should…” is a phrase you’ll often hear.

Psychologists have a name for this, it’s called Learned Helplessness.

It’s a state of mind that's easy to end up in after experiencing repeated negative events beyond your control, which leaves you with lack of motivation and belief to change your situation, even when opportunities arise. 

In general, it’s a belief that nothing you do matters - that the outcomes in your life are for the most part, controlled by other people.

Now, the obvious examples above probably don’t apply to you, but learned helplessness can worm its way into our lives in subtle ways. It’s that little voice in your head that gives you a million reasons why you shouldn’t just take a small action in the right direction. 



For example, I know exactly what I need to do to feel my best: sunlight in the morning, some intense movement, a good night’s sleep, and a good breakkie. But to this day (even after all my “self development”), if any of those things are out of line, my immediate thought is “What’s the point in doing anything if things haven’t lined up perfectly?”

But I don't think I'm the only one. I’m sure at some point in your life you've convinced yourself that change requires the perfect moment, the right mood, or enough willpower.

But why is this way of thinking so deeply ingrained?

Part of it is because of the formal education system.

The underlying message of the whole system is: follow the process, trust the system, and you'll be okay.

People come out of this system, thinking that a large majority of the problems in their life aren’t meant to be solved by them, which is why I didn’t learn how to change the brakes on my van until I was 23 (it didn't go very well).

But the point is, formal education doesn’t really prepare you for real life.

All the standardised tests and assignments you’re asked to spend a huge amount of your early life preparing for, are completely disconnected from reality and rely largely on rote memorisation and ticking the correct boxes, and only occasionally encourages true foundational understanding.

You’re trained to memorise answers for a topic, get tested, then move on to the next stage. And because of the lack of immediate feedback or tangible outcomes - a score on a piece of paper is hardly a tangible outcome - it may seem to a young child that there isn’t any point in putting in effort.



Of course, plenty of independent thinkers emerge from traditional education - but imagine how many more there could be if the system rewarded initiative instead of compliance.

Whether or not you did well in school, the impact that the formal education system has on reinforcing this way of thinking cannot be understated.

But notice I said “reinforced”, not “caused”.

That’s because the other part of it - and this is where the term “Learned Helplessness” isn’t entirely accurate - is that this way of thinking, this passive approach to life, is the default way of being. 

It isn’t learned. It’s there from the beginning (makes sense really, babies don’t tend to have much control over their outcomes), and then gets hammered in deeper by the society that we’ve built.

You have to unlearn it.

You absolutely do have control over your life, and you can have a positive impact on the lives of others.

It’s not about making the world conform to what you think is best. It’s about acting on your values, on what you say is important.

So where can you start?

Well first, you need to answer this question

“What do you think is important?”



If you’re subscribed to this email list, then you have at least a vague idea that food security, physical health, independence from the mainstream system, community-sufficiency, and human connection are important. 

So the next question is, “Are you acting on what you say is important?”. 

If you can answer yes to that every day (or even just most days), then you’re on the right path. 

And if you take anything from this email, it should be this:

This way of thinking is so deeply ingrained in you (and me), that you’re probably severely underestimating your own ability to create a life you want.

And it'll take some time, but you absolutely can build a life where you get to answer “yes” to that question every day.

So tell us, what’s really stopping you?

“They should” You should.

To your freedom and independence,

Rob

Wild Minds Community

PS. If you are ready to break out of this way of thinking and start building the life you want, then here's a free video to get you started:

 👉Click here to get access to The First Step to Freedom